Reading Fifty Shades of Grey: My need for a dictionary and it's similarity to another bestselling series

We got this book a few months ago, hoping to read it together at night after B went to bed.  *snort*  The hubs could not last more than a paragraph and a half before falling asleep!  So, last week I decided to start reading the book on my own and by Chapter 5 I had come to two conclusions:

1. I must keep a dictionary with me while I read, and
2. It's quite similar to the Twilight books!

Here are just a few examples of words in Fifty Shades of Gray that cause me to have a dictionary handy:

• Castigating
• Taciturn
• Fisting (The dictionary was no help with this one, so I had to consult Wikipedia.  Holy crap! How does it even get in there?!  And why would you want yourself that stretched out?!)
• Mercurial

Here are the similarities I have found between Fifty Shades and Twilight:

• Written in the 1st person, solely from the POV of the main female character
• Both novels take place in the Pacific Northwest
• Anastasia and Bella are young, innocent, inexperienced, clumsy and skinny brunettes
• They both have two male friends that want to be more, one of whom is all-American (Paul and Mike), the other being a minority (Jose and Jacob)
• They both have flighty moms with a long list of fervent and then abandoned passions, multiple marriages and a keen insight into men when their daughter's wish they weren't so on the mark
• They both want these men but the men won't touch them
• They both like classic literature and compare their relationships to one story in particular (Tess of the d'Urbervilles and Romeo & Juliet)
• Christian and Edward are older in spirit than their age, they're worldly, rich, brooding, wish they could read Anastasia's and Bella's minds, warn these ladies to stay away from them but they themselves cannot stay away from these ladies and rescue the ladies from harm.
• Both men have the same hair - style and color!
• Both men like to sniff these ladies, are hiding a deep, dark secret and have a fun-loving, teasing brother
• Both men demand any physical relationship must be on their terms.

But then, there are similarities in other forms of entertainment, as well.  Most romantic comedies follow the same plot.  Most "heaving bosom books" (what my aunt calls historical romances because of the pictures on the front covers) are the same - innocent girl, experienced man, one's rich, one's poor, he's rude, she hates him, passion ignites, he takes, she gives, their pride keeps them apart, many tears ensue and then they get together in the end.

Oh, well.  I'm happy to not be reading curriculum, researching curriculum or reading non-fiction about how to assist my son with functioning in this world.