SERIES: 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #13

             

#13: The way your spouse dresses does not reflect on you, so let it go.

I'm not talking about embarrassing or inappropriate dressing, just different styles.  If you are a parent, you know the internal struggle when your kids get that age when they want to dress themselves.  You want to encourage the independence but you worry that people will judge you for horribly mismatching your child's clothes, so you want to tape a sign to their backs that says, "I dressed myself; please don't blame my Mom."  For a time, I think the hubs felt that way about me.

Not in the beginning; I was a sexy beast in the beginning and dressed the part!  I have plans to write a book about "Our Story" because it is a damn good story, if I do say so myself, but I'll tell this little snippet here.  We met at work and 2 months later, the hubs decided to move out of state (no, he was not moving to get away from me).  His last week of work, I wore such sexy, borderline slutty, outfits to work that I am shocked I wasn't sent home to change.  His last day, a Friday, I wore this sheer (read: see-through) black top and matching pants with black, lace undergarments.  I think my track record for accuracy and the fact that my personal business habits saved my employer so much time and money that they made my habits policy throughout the international organization is what saved my ass over those outfits.  I just wanted the hubs (whom I'd only been on 3 dates with at this time) to have something to miss when he moved 460 miles away.  ;o)

Three months later we were engaged (the outfit, obviously, worked) and 3 months after that we were living together.  Then something....interesting...happened.  When I would get dressed for work in one of those sexy, hip outfits that had attracted the hubs, he started saying things like, "Do you think that's appropriate to wear to work?" and "You don't need to wear  that; you already have your man."  <:-O  Please don't hate on the hubs.  He really was a progressive, supportive person and even I was taken aback by this behavior.  It had nothing to do with me; it was probably due to his own insecurities and the fact that he thought I was such a great catch that others would want to steal me.  Bless his heart!

OK, you have to realize that I have never been a girly-girl, a fashionista.  I had absolutely no fashion sense for 2 reasons: 1) my mom was not a girly-girl and had absolutely no fashion sense, so there was no one to teach me, and 2) both my mom, all my friends and I went to Catholic schools and wore uniforms, so there was no need for "real" clothes.  Even the college I went to (culinary arts school) had uniforms!  But at the job I had before I met the hubs, I became friends with a wonderful woman who dressed sexy and hip and knew all the cheapest places to buy clothes.  She would take me to these places, pick out clothes and tell me to buy them.  Otherwise, I'd be lost!

Fast forward several years to being laid off from my job at 7 months pregnant, having a baby and then afterwards, having no place to go that required a dress code (read: the Walmarts).  So, I was back to the 80's weekends of my Catholic school days when I wore over-sized t-shirts, jams (how many of you remember those), sweats and men's boxer shorts.  I have to tell you now, that the hubs has had a "uniform" ever since I met him and he still wears the same thing.  I never realized he had a "uniform" until one of the members of my mom's group actually called it his "uniform".  This is what he he has worn for the 17+ years I have know him: exhibit A and exhibit B, specifically that brand, too.  So, the hubs would love to see me in something that does not involve sweats material and is, somewhat, form-fitting.  His idea?  The same khakis and Polo shirts that he wore.  Not me!

He finally let go of the dream that I would have the same taste in clothes as him and just uses this question as the barometer of what I should and should not wear: "Are you comfortable in it?" and I so love him for being in that place of acceptance.  Because, what I choose to wear, has absolutely no reflection on him.  :o)

Don't miss any posts in this series:

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #1

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #2

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #3

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #4

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #5

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #6

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #7

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #8

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #9
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #10
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #11
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #12
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #13
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