As I told you in the previous post, Blogging Again, I'm currently reading Glennon Melton's book Carry On, Warrior, The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life. And, boy howdy, is mine messy!
Glennon says she has three prayers to Jesus: "Please!", "Thank You!" and "WTF???" I stopped praying, stopped talking to God sometime over the last few months and I don't even know why. But that snowballed into my old Catholic guilt mentality - I can't turn to Him when I haven't been in touch for so long. What do I say to Him now? (Side note: I was raised Catholic and have received all my sacraments. The hubs and I were married in the Catholic church and B was baptized Catholic. I no longer practice Catholicism because it's a religion and I don't believe in religions; I believe in God. Religions are people who get in the way of me and God with their rules and condemnation. But I will blog my God story in the future.)
But then Glennon said "Please!", "Thank You!" or "WTF???" So this week I've been praying thank yous. Folding the hubs laundry, all by myself in the basement yesterday, I even prayed thank yous. I had an overwhelming incident yesterday full of loud noises, kids running around, wall climbing, battling each other in which I now see I should have prayed WTF??? to calm my overwhelminess. Yes, I am declaring overwhelminess a new word. Deal.
Glennon also says that we can get overwhelmed with everything there is to do and maintain and keep track of that we panic. Life itself can be so overwhelming that we can't handle it all and get stuck or escape into something unhealthy. That's me; I get overwhelmed very easily!
She advised all I need to focus on is doing the next right thing. That's it! She likened it to driving home at night on a country road with no street lights. Your headlights only allow you to see the next 10 feet in front of you. It's scary, yes. I worry about what else is out there in the dark, lurking, waiting to jump out in front of my car. But it's alright; I can get all the way home, safely, just those 10 feet at a time.
So I've been focusing on the next best thing. That's it. The next best thing yesterday got me to walk out of a situation before my overwhelminess came out of me in front of children. And last night, I added please to my thank you prayers. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning without any worry or anxiety pressing on me. (Wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that it's PJ FRIDAY in our house - whoop, whoop!)
This morning I weighed myself. I told you in Blogging Again that I weighed 176lbs. This morning I am 172.5lbs. Lightening my mental and spiritual burden had a side effect of lightning my physical one, too. ;o) But I know I won't always make good choices and I'll fall off the wagon many more times, I'm sure. But it's OK. God gives me as many do-overs as I need.
- I am a very lucky woman with a husband and son who are smart, witty and entertaining. Our son, B, attended public school for two years, and then we embarked on a new adventure in the Fall of 2010 - homeschooling. We don't have all the answers, but we know B and this has been the best thing for him. I blog to preserve our stories and our memories, share recipes, vent and ramble on about our crazy, yet blessed, life. Would you care to follow along?