I didn't want to go to Bunco tonight. The hubs and I have not been gellin',parenting-wise 4 days in a row, we were out all day doing errands, I am not feeling well and not sleeping well. Basically I was a tired whiner with my cranky pants on today.
While my family was good enough to be "blessed" with my disposition, I didn't feel the Bunco group deserved to have it. But pulling out 1.5 hours before it was to start was not cool.
I knew my friend who was hosting would serve a wonderful dinner, because she always does. I sucked it up and headed out the door and the hubs could not get the door closed behind me fast enough (who could blame him?).
Dinner was wonderful. It was Fallish and plentiful and warmed me from the inside out. The house was decorated for the season by her adorable son. I laughed and laughed. I hugged my friend whom I had not seen in a while. I came away with 2.5 times more money than I had paid into the pot. I'm so glad I went!
This happens to me a lot, when I have plans to leave the house solo. I am an introvert. I get my energy from being alone, not from other people. I don't like to be social. Becoming a mom forced me out of my shell because if you don't speak up, reach out, connect with and talk to other moms, you will go insane! But we are well beyond the playgroups of baby-, toddler- and preschool-hood. B has his own friends and they can get together without every mom being present in the room all the time.
So I just want to crawl back into my shell and be content. But I can't be, really. I like friends, I need friends and I know I won't have any unless I cultivate the relationships. I agonize and worry over most social gatherings but after they are over, I feel the same - glad I did it. Going out of the house is like exercising or going to church; I don't want to do it, don't want to put in the effort, but when I do, I'm so glad I did! Probably not as glad as the hubs was tonight, though. ;o)