After completing my July 2012 series, 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, I received comments on Facebook and in person about doing others. I immediately thought about doing one about the downside of homeschooling. A tongue-in-cheek list of the negatives, because our family, our relationships and our lives have only gotten better with homeschooling. But I was confident that I could come up with at least 10 "bad" things about homeschooling.
I came up with one right away. Well here we are, 14+ months later, and I've not been able to come up with 9 other negatives about homeschooling! I've only come up with 1 more. So, I've given up of on the series idea. I've let go of trying to find 10 "bad" things about homeschooling. I think it's wonderful that after 14 months, I could only come up with 2! Here we go...
#1. I had to break up with my vibrator.
B and I are together all the time. All. The. Time. We don't have to be in the same room or on the same floor at all times, but we are in the house together. When B was in public school, even half-day kindergarten, I at least had time alone in the house to be with myself. Not since we started homeschooling! He stopped taking naps years ago, so that window of opportunity is shut for good.
And believe me, I've tried. I know what you're thinking - I'm a horrible, disgusting, slutty mom for trying to use her vibrator with a conscious kid in the house. No, I'm a homeschool mom who applies learning to everything I do and I did a Science experiment. I proposed a hypothesis to myself - B will not hear my vibrator under the covers, in my bedroom, behind the closed door, while he is watching TV downstairs with snacks he rarely gets. Then I tested my hypothesis by doing an experiment. Finally, I analyzed the data I had gathered during my experiment and came to the conclusion that I had to break up with my vibrator.
I must have been a little too eager to get upstairs. Or maybe he was (rightly) suspicious of me allowing him to watch something I'd never allowed to be viewed in our house before and the free reign I gave him with the Halloween candy while he watched the show. Regardless, he came knocking and, upon discovering the bedroom door was locked, he was not going away. The mood was ruined for me and I've never tried again. *sigh*
#2. I can't purge his toys without getting caught.
When he was in preschool and then public school, I had time without B to cull through the toy bins and get rid of the items that were broken or hadn't been played with or even remembered existed in several months. I'd separate out the items to go and clean and bag them up while he was a school. Even if he came home before all the Freecyclers had picked up the toys I was getting rid of, B didn't know what was in the bags! If he asked, I just told him, "stuff for Freecycle", and he let it drop.
The next time he'd go to the toys bins, he knew something was different, something wasn't quite right; he just couldn't put his finger on it... Ahhh...the good 'ole days.
Now I have to put up with, "Hey! I've been looking for that forever!" and "But that's my favorite toy!" and "I'm going to start playing with it again right now." Don't get me wrong, the stuff still goes. I just no longer get the peaceful satisfaction of decluttering with no one being the wiser. I got a sick amusement from pulling one over on him. If my 23 yr old self could see what I got excited about now... :-P
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