SERIES: 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #17

#17: Just because it isn't done my way doesn't mean it is done wrong.  

There are very few things in this world that can only be right or wrong.  The hubs, very eloquently, came up with 2: 1) humanity = right; 2) genocide = wrong.  Period.  Most everything else is up for interpretation.  But for control freaks, know-it-alls, black-and-white types of people, that's a hard pill to swallow.  I know because I'm one of them!

This is something I get from my dad.  I've always hated it (and still do b/c he still does it) when he swoops in with his "suggestions" and "options" of other ways to do something.  It makes me feel like he doesn't trust me to do anything right or he has to supervise and tell me the "right" way to do something.  I feel belittled, even though I know that is not where my dad's coming from.  So, since I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that, why would I do that to the hubs?  Because, like my dad, I have an analytical mind and can figure out the least expensive and/or most efficient way of doing something and I can't imagine why anyone would want to do it any other way.  I think that makes me a "destination" person - focused on the objective and get there as soon as possible to be done with it.  The hubs is a "journey" type of person - he enjoy the process, the challenge, the figuring things out as he goes, and if he makes a mistake, he'll just figure out another way.

Last Summer, we spent 2 days putting together a new hybrid grill and we did great.  We were able to mesh my way of only reading the directions and following every single step in order and to the letter with his way of viewing a picture of what the finished product should look like and then figuring out how to get there on his own.  I let him take the lead.  I had the directions and when he asked for them, I would read them and tell him how the next step should go.  When he didn't need the directions, I helped him put it together his way.  And it worked.  We have a great grill that still works even though there was more than one way to put it together.

Here's an even better example: it drives me crazy that the hubs won't use the garlic press!  I think it is one of the best and most efficient kitchen gadgets ever invented and can't imaging why anyone would waste time chopping garlic themselves.  The hubs prefers to chop garlic with a knife.  You don't get uniformed-sized pieces with a knife and it takes longer!  Why not use the garlic press?!  Because he doesn't want to.  And, I suspect, because I want him to so badly.  ;o)  Every time I see him peeling garlic I want to go to the gadget drawer to get him the press.  Nothing I say or do will make him use that press; it will just belittle him and send the message that I don't think he can even handle the simple task of chopping garlic.  Instead, I'll walk out of the kitchen so I don't see it, bite my tongue and be grateful that someone else is cooking the meal.  And you know what?  Not only do those meals taste delicious, but you can't even tell what the garlic looked liked when it went into the pan.  :o)

Don't miss any posts in this series:

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #1

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #2

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #3

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #4

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #5

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #6

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #7

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #8

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #9
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #10
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