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I am a very lucky woman with a husband and son who are smart, witty and entertaining. Our son, B, attended public school for two years, and then we embarked on a new adventure in the Fall of 2010 - homeschooling. We don't have all the answers, but we know B and this has been the best thing for him. I blog to preserve our stories and our memories, share recipes, vent and ramble on about our crazy, yet blessed, life. Would you care to follow along?

Monday, July 2, 2012

SERIES: 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #2


#2: Once, I let my faith in us slip and I wanted out.  The hubs would not allow it.

It was a dark time in our marriage - the stressful, 1st year of B's life.  We had sold our house and moved in with my parents, for the second time.  We were sleep deprived and stressed out with worry.  At 4 months, B's pediatrician believed he had torticollis.  He needed to see a neurosurgeon for confirmation and treatment options.  We could not get in to see a neurosurgeon until he was 7 months old. The neurosurgeon confirmed the torticollis, but needed a cat scan to determine if it was muscular or skeletal and the hospital had no infant appointments before he was 9 months old.  Muscular could be corrected with occupational therapy.  Skeletal (at the time) needed corrective surgery before B turned 1 year old or some damage would be permanent.  We were in a race against time.

On top of that, we decided to start looking for a place to stay, because we didn't think we had enough on our plates.  We thought it'd be fun, take our minds of things.  Ha!  I am a bare-bones kinda gal - cheap date all the way and content with our needs being met.  The hubs, at the time, liked comfort, style, nicer things.  Needless to say, we could not agree on anything.  I could not take out anymore!  The next 50 years flashed before my eyes, us doing nothing but head-butting over every single decision!  It was hard enough to deal with the stress over B's torticollis and being responsible for this, helpless human being.  If we can't even agree on where to live, we are not got to agree on any parenting decisions.  I decided I could not live like that for the rest of my life.  I wanted a divorce so he could live where he wanted to live and I could live where I wanted to live.  He could parent however he wanted to when B was at his house and I could parent however I wanted to when B was at my house.  And all of this came to me while I sobbed, in our car, in my parents' driveway, after we'd come back from another failed house hunting afternoon.  I was so tired and I grasped at this solution like a life raft as I drowned in my tears and misery.

"I'm tired," I said to him, resignedly.  "I'm so tired of fighting.  Over everything.  I can't keep doing this and care for B.  I'm done.  I want out.  I want a divorce."  "No," he said, firmly.  "I'm not letting you give up on us.  We are good together, we belong together and I'll be strong for both of us right now."  He reached over and gathered me into his arms.  I was too tired to fight him off.  I sobbed until I was dry.  He carried me inside and put me to bed.  I never thought of divorce again because he was right.

Don't miss any posts in this series:

31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #9
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #10
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #11
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #12
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #13
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #14
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #15
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #16
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #17
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #18
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #19
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #20
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #21
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #22
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #23
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #24
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #25
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #26
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #27
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #28
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #29
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #30
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #31

1 comment:

  1. god bless you and your husband.

    ReplyDelete